RSS
 

Archive for January, 2011

Acceptance Without Resentment

19 Jan

Acceptance is not submitting yourself to something less than your standards can allow; it is realizing what the facts are, and figuring out how you can live with them, just the way they are. Easier said than done, right?

Have you set expectations for your family members? It’s easy to say that you just want them to do their best, or that you just know they are capable of it. Does that make you feel noble, compassionate, and caring?  What happens though when your son gets a D in a class at school, or drops out of a sport? Do you feel let down, like that was a hard blow against you personally? It’s hard to admit that, isn’t it? After all, your intentions were good, weren’t they?

Holding your loved ones up to your own expectations is just setting yourself up for resentment. Wouldn’t it be more pleasant if your son had chosen a class he was interested in or felt confident about, instead of the class that he knew he was expected to take. Imagine the pride you could have felt when he got a high grade in that class instead, or the warmth you’d have felt seeing the pride in his eyes.

Accepting your son for who he is, and encouraging his own interests and goals, is much easier on him, and on you. Maybe your spouse won’t make you rich by the time you’re 30, but who were you to impose that high standard on him or her in the first place? What right do you have to impose expectations on anyone other than yourself? Really. Once you can accept your loved ones for who they are, you can free yourself of those future resentments and make time for your own goals and dreams.

Later, Me

Print This Post Print This Post

Post to Twitter Post to Delicious Post to Digg Post to Facebook Post to Ping.fm Post to StumbleUpon

 

Finding my “Happy Place”

19 Jan

Stop and hold your breath for about 10 seconds. Then let it out slowly and completely. Now, ask yourself what exactly are you doing in your life and who is it for. Answer yourself honestly!

Your job; do you like it? Or, are you just doing it to pay the bills, or because someone else expects you to? Taking your kids, their friends, neighbor kids, etc. to all their extracurricular activities or sporting events; do you like it? Or, are you just doing it because someone expects you to? The organization(s) you volunteer for; do you like to do that? Or, does it just look good on your resume, or make someone else proud of you?

Before you run off and excuse me as crazy because you can’t possibly give up any of those things, hear me out. This is not about giving up those things; it’s about finding happiness and peace so you can do those things by choice, instead of obligation. Who knows, maybe once you decide what makes you happy, you’ll discover that your time is too precious for that volunteer activity. Or maybe volunteering is what GIVES you happiness. Who knows? YOU do! You just need to take that deep breath and let it out to clear you mind and say to yourself now, “I have a choice to make. Do I choose to be miserable, or do I choose to be happy?” When it all boils down to it, that’s really what it’s all about.

If your job can’t possibly make you happy, then you should start looking for another one that does. No hurry, just keep it in your mind to act upon it when the opportunity arises. You’d be surprised how many opportunities arise once you open your mind to them, and how freeing it is in your mind to just know that you are working on it. If hauling your kids around like a taxi service can’t possibly make you happy, start carpooling with other parents, sharing the burden with your spouse, parents, siblings, whomever will take it! Do something just for yourself. Get a gym membership, read a book, go fishing, whatever YOU like to do. Just adding one thing like that at a time, or at all, can change your attitude about everything else.

Decide this. Is what I’m about to act upon my burden to carry, or is it someone else’s? If it is someone else’s, let them have it! By shedding other people’s burdens, you will free yourself up to decide what your own burdens are and how to make those “happy places” for you to be in.

Later, Me

Print This Post Print This Post

Post to Twitter Post to Delicious Post to Digg Post to Facebook Post to Ping.fm Post to StumbleUpon