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Archive for the ‘Finding Function in Dysfunction’ Category

Overcoming Procrastination

03 Feb

I feel like I have two little angel’s on my shoulder, feeding me their input all the time. The evil one keeps telling me that I’ve failed before. The good one tells me that this project is different.

The evil angel fills my “extra” time with trivial things to prevent me from succeeding. Lately it’s been this really good book that I’ve been reading. Recognizing this evil angel as an external influence on me can make it easier for me to fight it. By giving it an imaginary mass on my shoulder, I can see myself flicking it off and getting going. I will make my book a treat to revisit after I have everything done. After all, that’s how I approach housework when I get home from work. If I include working on my project in the category with housework, that could become the more fun thing I do after I get the housework done, but before I read.

I see that the evil angel is parroting some very old habits and beliefs. I used to be a terrible procrastinator. I’ve worked on that for years, and have overcome it in most of my daily living. I continue to work on that continuously though, to prevent failure. Failure is only truly failure if you don’t learn something from it. If you learn something, then it was just a hard lesson that you can take something away from for the future.

I think it was my evil angel that told me to go ice-fishing this last weekend instead of working on my project like I was supposed to. My good angel made it a positive thing by giving me quality time with my husband (and a LOT of exercise!). I need to apply this kind of give and take to my thoughts when something trivial starts to take precedence over working on my goals – use both angels as influences to mold my project. Can this trivial thing work indirectly to help me toward my goal in some way? Maybe if I see it that way instead, I could get inspired. Oh, there I go again. I just DID get inspired to blog about overcoming procrastination. I can see my good angel praising me for a job well done already :)

Later, Me

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Acceptance Without Resentment

19 Jan

Acceptance is not submitting yourself to something less than your standards can allow; it is realizing what the facts are, and figuring out how you can live with them, just the way they are. Easier said than done, right?

Have you set expectations for your family members? It’s easy to say that you just want them to do their best, or that you just know they are capable of it. Does that make you feel noble, compassionate, and caring?  What happens though when your son gets a D in a class at school, or drops out of a sport? Do you feel let down, like that was a hard blow against you personally? It’s hard to admit that, isn’t it? After all, your intentions were good, weren’t they?

Holding your loved ones up to your own expectations is just setting yourself up for resentment. Wouldn’t it be more pleasant if your son had chosen a class he was interested in or felt confident about, instead of the class that he knew he was expected to take. Imagine the pride you could have felt when he got a high grade in that class instead, or the warmth you’d have felt seeing the pride in his eyes.

Accepting your son for who he is, and encouraging his own interests and goals, is much easier on him, and on you. Maybe your spouse won’t make you rich by the time you’re 30, but who were you to impose that high standard on him or her in the first place? What right do you have to impose expectations on anyone other than yourself? Really. Once you can accept your loved ones for who they are, you can free yourself of those future resentments and make time for your own goals and dreams.

Later, Me

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